


No Tears Left To Cry

by maraudeer, pete_za



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: "Isn't that blackmail?" "Yes that's exactly what it is.", (it's like inception but without leonardo dicaprio), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Huge Miscommunication, M/M, Nursey just really loves to read, Shitty YA Novel AU, Story within a Story, these boys are just stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-07 14:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14673261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudeer/pseuds/maraudeer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pete_za/pseuds/pete_za
Summary: Derek Malik Nurse isn't the only writer on the Samwell Men's Hockey team.





	1. Dustin & Susie

“ _ Susie watched as Dustin Sweetness with his strong jaw, clear brown skin, and sparkling green eyes moved from her freckled face to Eleanor's as the bottle stopped at her tiny figure. ‘Alright!’ Tony called out, ‘Eleanor, Dustin, the closet is all yours!’ Susie watched despondently as Dustin fondly took Eleanor’s hand and led her to the coat closet the teens were using to play seven minutes in heaven. Susie couldn’t believe for the second time in two years she was witnessing Dustin _ –”

Derek didn’t get to finish the sentence before Dex was ripping the worn paperback novel out of his hands.

“I can’t believe you read this shit!” Dex said loud enough for the whole dining hall to hear. He had the gleeful look he always got when he was about to chirp Derek.

Truthfully, Derek wasn’t just reading this shit. He was rereading this shit...for the third time. If only Jason Heartsong would release the final book in the No Tears Left To Cry series, then he could hyperfixate on something else. But he wasn’t about to tell Dex any of that.

They had the attention of the hockey team and half the dining hall. Dex opened back up to the page Derek was on and began to read aloud.

“ _ Susie couldn’t believe for the second time in two years she was witnessing Dustin walk off with another girl when she knew she was the only one he wanted. After what felt like a lifetime, but was only a few minutes later, Dustin and Eleanor emerged from the coat closet. His curly hair mussed and her pink lipgloss was smudged. Susie flushed when Dustin glanced over at her.” _

Dex closed the book and set it back next to Nursey with a constipated look on his face. Derek expected him to make a comment about his choice of novel but he just sat back in his seat and let the team talk.

Ransom and Holster spoke first, spitting out food as they talked, “Dude! Are you really reading that YA trash! If you need us to hook you up with someone we can do that you know.”

“ _ No _ . I’m fine. Chill. It’s just a good book series,” and then because he couldn’t stand the attention just being on him, he added. “Ask Chowder.”

Chowder gave him a funny look as two dozen heads swiveled to face him, “Look, I tried reading that series for your sake, Nurse, but honestly I think you just like it because Dustin Sweetness is literally you.”

“ _ Dustin Sweetness _ ! Good Lord,” Bitty called out. 

Derek rolled his eyes. “It’s not that terrible guys. It won a Teen Vogue Best YA Love Story Award two years in a row.”

“I think that just makes it worse,” Lardo interjected.

Derek struggled to find the words to defend his beloved teen romance novels. Jason Heartsong  _ would never _ embarrass him the way Dex just did. 

Derek looked over at Dex who was studiously cutting apart his chicken breast. His face was flushed a deep red. What did  _ he  _ have to be embarrassed about?

“I’m not an English major, but even I can tell you that book isn’t worth your time,” Dex said. 

“You know what,” Derek said. “I think you’re all acting this way because this story is about high schoolers and no one respects when teenagers say they’re in love. Quite frankly—”

He was cut off by a collective groan from the team as they moved on to a new conversation. No one wanted to hear Nursey’s soapbox rambles about YA fiction. 

Nursey looked over to Dex for support or at least some sort of acknowledgment, but all he got was a shrug as Dex stood up to dump his tray.

* * *

“ _ Susie and Dustin locked eyes under the fairy lights that lit up the gym floor. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing that she was right now–all her mind could focus on was his lips, the curve of his broad shoulders, and the way his hands felt on her hips as they swung to the beat. Dustin opened his mouth and said —” _

Dex couldn't figure out what Dustin said to Susie to save his life. “I’ve loved you since I first saw you...no, too cliche. You look so sexy in that dress...no, too sexual they’re only seventeen. Oh shit Eleanor I didn’t know you were coming to the homecoming dance...no, Eleanor moved away at the end of book two.”

Dex groaned and threw his head back, resting it on the back of the chair. Secretly being the New York Times Best-Selling YA author Jason Heartsong was hard work. It meant only writing when no one else was around and never being able to consult anyone when he had writer’s block. 

But it was also helping him pay his way through Samwell University and hockey, so he took the good with the bad as best he could. If it kept him off his uncle’s lobster boat, then it couldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

He sighed and minimized his word doc. He had a deadline for the first draft, but he knew he couldn’t write anymore that day. He felt completely drained from the creative process. Nursey’s poetry writing was nothing in comparison to his novel writing. 

He pulled up Twitter instead. He wasn’t Bitty levels obsessed with his Twitter, and he diligently kept it private, but he did use it sometimes to blow off steam. Dex’s fingers hovered over the keyboard for a few seconds before he began to type. Slowly, the words came to him. They might not have been the most original tweets, but he felt better after writing them. 

**@gingerrealness:** the worst thing about the closet is EVERYTHING 

**@gingerrealness:** especially when you can’t get out 

“Dex!” Bitty called from the Haus kitchen. “When you get a chance, could you take a look at the dryer. It’s been acting up again.”

Dex sighed, minimizing the open Twitter tab on his computer and standing up, “Sure, Bits.” 

Writing novels and Twitter rants would have to wait until later.

* * *

 

Nursey walked down the Haus stairs in pursuit of snacks, most namely a bag of Hot Cheetos, but when he saw Dex’s laptop unattended on the infamous green couch, he decided to pursue knowledge instead.

He only wanted to get back at Dex for embarrassing him at team dinner, not expose a hidden chamber of private information. So really he wasn’t even being  _ that  _ evil. 

“Poindexter really left his laptop out like that? Whack man.” 

Derek picked up the computer and sat on the couch with it on his lap. Shaking it awake, two tabs were minimized at the bottom. He clicked on the word doc titled “WHAT SHOULD IT BE TITLED” because it looked more promising than Dex’s most likely boring and conservative tweets.

Derek started reading where Dex had left off typing:

“ _ Susie and Dustin locked eyes under the fairy lights that lit up the gym floor. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing that she was right now–all her mind could focus on was his lips, the curve of his broad shoulders, and the way his hands felt on her hips as they swung to the beat. Dustin opened his mouth and said —” _

Derek reread the sentences on the screen twice to make sure he was reading what he thought he was reading, then threw the laptop onto the couch cushion next to him. 

His first thought was this: Why was Dex writing No Tears Left to Cry fanfic?

After a quick flip through the document, he realized it wasn’t fanfic. His style was too similar to Heartsong’s own. He sat in silence for a long second piecing it all together.

Then his next thought came: William J. Poindexter was Jason Heartsong. 

But, honestly, his third thought felt the most urgent: What  _ did _ Dustin say? 

_ “Holy shit.”  _ Derek quickly minimized the tab and clicked on Twitter as he heard footsteps coming towards the living room. 

In an attempt to be chill about the entire situation, Derek flipped on the TV as Dex walked into the room. 

“Sup, Poindexter?” His heart was beating as quickly as Susie’s when Dustin held her hand for the first time. 

Dex narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing on my computer?”

“I’m not on your compu—” He tried to lie. But when he looked down to where the laptop was sitting wide open next to him, he knew he was busted.

Dex snatched up his laptop and looked at what was on the screen, his face and ears immediately going bright red.

“I didn’t mean to read it,” Nursey said. This time the lie sounded a little more convincing than the last.

“This is  _ personal _ Nurse! I had that tab minimized for a reason. I can’t believe you.”

Dex stared at him sharply, but Derek saw his hands shaking just little as they held onto the laptop.

“Look,” Derek said, kneeling on the couch and looking at Dex straight on from where he stood behind it. “It wasn’t an accident. That’s true. But I didn’t know I would find... _ that _ .”

“Then what were you trying to find Nurse.” Dex’s voice was steely.

“I was...trying to get you back for embarrassing me at dinner the other day,” Derek did feel bad for intruding into Dex’s private matters. “But it does seem kind of ironic, now, doesn’t it?” 

He was trying for humor, but Dex’s face stayed just as stormy. “Nothing about this is funny to me.” 

“Look if you really don’t want me to tell anyone—”

“I don’t,” Dex said quickly.

Derek smirked deviously. “Then maybe we can strike a deal.”

Dex looked at Derek skeptically, “What do you mean?”

Derek kind of couldn’t believe this conversation was happening. Part of him knew this was the same Dex he’d always known—the Dex that was infuriating and smart and always challenging him. But another part of him couldn’t help but freak out inside: this was also the author Derek had had a crush on for years as he eagerly read each book in the No Tears Left To Cry series. And here he was now right in front of him, and any hope that he was something other than straight was crumbling before his eyes. Because this was Dex. And Dex just happened to write the most popular heterosexual love story since Twilight.

There was only one thing left to do then. Blackmail him. 

“I mean...if you want to keep your secret just between me and you and not the team and the rest of Samwell, I’m going to need something from you.”

Dex swallowed and fidgeted slightly. “What do you want from me?”

Derek grinned like Dustin Sweetness and clapped Dex on the back.

“You’ll know when the time comes.”

With that, he left the living room, back in pursuit of a bag of Hot Cheetos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear: Nursey is not blackmailing Dex because he wants to out him! Nursey just really loves to read.


	2. Blackmail

Dex didn’t understand why Nursey would want to do this to him, and he didn’t understand what he had to gain from outing him to the team. 

“Was Nurse really that hurt that I made the whole team roast him for reading my terrible book?” he muttered to himself in his bed that night. Dex thought the two of them were friends, he thought Nursey was queer himself, so what was the point in outing him? “Why would he hurt me like this?”

Dex sat up abruptly and grabbed for his laptop, opening what he referred to as his Untitled Bestseller. 

“... _ all her mind could focus on was his lips, the curve of his broad shoulders, and the way his hands felt on her hips as they swung to the beat. Dustin opened his mouth and said, ‘I’m sorry Susie, I never meant to hurt you. All these years, I ignored my feelings for you, I just wound up hurting myself too.’ These were the words Susie had been waiting to hear since she first laid eyes on Dusin Sweetness all those years ago. ‘It’s always been you Susie,’ he affirmed staring deeply into her eyes. Susie’s gaze faltered. Now that Susie actually had the guy of her dreams in her reach, did she actually want him? ‘How can I be sure that he wouldn’t hurt me again?’ she thought. _ ”

As Dex read over the document he sighed, “Maybe Chowder was right. I projected the hell onto Dustin and Susie.” 

* * *

At team breakfast the next morning, Nursey shot Dex a devilish look before he stood up and said, “Would you mind taking my tray for me, Dex?”

Dex clenched his jaw. “Sure, Nurse.” Nursey shot him a dazzling smile, and his jaw clenched tighter if that was possible. “My pleasure.”

Ransom and Holster, from the head of the table, raised their eyebrows as Dex took both of their trays to the dumping station and Nursey sauntered off behind him. 

Bitty, always the bravest, spoke up first, “What’s up with those two?”

“When  _ isn’t  _ something going on between them?” Lardo half laughed as she watched Dex flounder with both the boy’s trays. 

The whole team’s gaze followed the two boys as they walked across the dining hall and out the exit, but Dex kept his eyes trained on Nursey’s back as they continued walking. He couldn’t make a bigger deal out of this than it was already going to seem. He was going to be  _ chill _ . At least until they were out of the sight of the team. 

Once they’d rounded the corner and were out the dining hall door, Dex wheeled around to face Nursey, who still looked entirely too smug for Dex’s liking. 

“Okay you had your fun, Nursey, now can you please promise not to hold this over me any longer.”

For one brief second, Nursey’s face shifted into something mildly more sympathetic. But then he flashed that Derek Malik Nurse shit eating grin again. “Sorry Dex, you know the deal. It’s kind of like in the second book when Dustin guilted Susie into coming to the party again even though she knows the night is just gonna end with him kissing someone else. What does he say to her again? ‘ _ I had to kiss her...for us, Susie _ .’” Derek mimicked the smooth timbre of Dustin Sweetness. 

The real quote was  _ “I needed to kiss her,”  _ but Dex was  _ not  _ about to correct Nursey.

The redhead glowered at Nursey’s incredulousness. “What the fuck man. This is two totally different things. Not everything relates to those fucking books!”

Nursey laughed it off, “Okay, man. Whatever you say.” 

Dex sighed. “Look, whatever. Make me do the stupid shit you don’t want to do but just don’t out me to the whole team. Get your revenge, I don’t care, but this is a secret I’m not ready to share yet.” 

Derek rolled his eyes, “I don’t even know why. It’s fucking awesome man.”

Dex blushed furiously, “I would think  _ you  _ would know why.” 

“Alright they might chirp you about it for like a day, but for what it’s worth: I think it’s really cool and I respect what you’ve chosen to do.”

_ Then why are you blackmailing me!  _ Dex wanted to scream. Derek officially sent out more mixed signals than Dustin in book one.  _ God _ did he love writing angsty characters. But the real life thing? A little bit more annoying.  

“Well let’s cut the chatter,” Nursey slapped Dex on the back, “I have  _ loads  _ of hockey practice laundry that needs to be done.”

After swinging by Nursey’s disaster of a dorm room, Dex was left rolling a heaping laundry basket across campus. In his pocket his phone rang, it was Derek. 

“What,” he said bitterly into the receiver. 

“Yeah,” Nurse giggled, “I need to get footage of you wholly embarrassing yourself, so can you hop across the Quad with my laundry?”   


“Can I  _ what _ .” Dex squawked. It was like he was being hazed. 

“Your ears are  _ so _ large Poindexter, I’m not going to believe that you didn't hear me. Hop to it!"

* * *

That night Dex got a text from Ransom in the SMH group message telling everyone to come over to the Haus to watch the Falconers game. He was tired from all the bullshit Nursey had put him through that day, but Bitty promised there’d be pie. After the day he’d been through, he needed some fucking pie.

On the walk over to the Haus, he got a text from Nursey.

**Derek Nurse:** _ are you coming to watch the game? _

**Dex:** _ yes _

**Derek Nurse:** _ good.  _

Dex kind of felt like turning around and going back to his dorm after that. Especially when he switched over to his snapchat and saw what was on the Samwell University campus story. There were no less than twenty videos of William Poindexter leapfrogging across campus with a basket of laundry behind him. It was like Susie being embarrassed by Eleanor and the popular girls in the cafeteria in the first novel.

When he got to the Haus, almost everyone was already seated on or around the ugly green couch. He took a seat on the floor near Ransom. Nursey didn’t even look in his direction when he sat down, but Dex took special care to keep him in the corner of his eye in case he tried something. 

Surprisingly, Nursey didn’t make any weird requests from him the whole game. In fact, he didn’t even speak to Dex until the third period. The Falconers were down by one, and with only five minutes left in the game, everyone was getting antsy. 

It was then that Nursey decided to call Dex’s name from across the room. 

“Hey, Dex.” The words were clear and cool as they left Nursey’s mouth. “Could you get me a water from the fridge?” 

Dex tore his eyes away from the TV screen, “What?”

“A water? Please.”

Dex sighed and got up from his spot on the floor. He was just reaching into the fridge to grab a bottle of water when he heard his team erupt into cheers from the other room. He raced back into the room and tossed the bottle into Nursey’s hand.

“What happened?”

“Marty just tied up the game!” Bitty shouted. He was already on his phone, probably tweeting about some ridiculous pass or hard check that Dex had missed.

Dex turned toward the TV screen, trying to catch the instant replay, but he felt a tug on the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Dexy, I asked for a Coke.” 

“In a second.”

“ _ Dex _ ,” Derek whined. “I really need this Coke.”

Dex huffed, “Fine.” 

He missed the instant replay anyway. It took Dex another minute to get the Coke and bring it to him. He didn’t even bother looking at Nursey as he passed the drink off. There were three minutes left in the game, and the score was tied. The team members huddled around the TV screen were bubbling with anticipation.

“Oh, Dex,” Nursey sounded endlessly disappointed. “I wanted it in a glass. With ice.” 

Dex snatched the Coke back from him and went back to the kitchen. This was the  _ last  _ time he’d do this. He grabbed a glass from one of the kitchen cabinets, filled it with ice, and began pouring the drink into it. He could hear the guys and Lardo in the other room making increasingly more excited sounds as the clock ran down and the Falconers zagged across the ice to the end zone.

He was just throwing the can in the recycling bin and turning to head back when he heard the loudest yells yet erupting from his teammates in the living room.  _ Fuck it _ , he thought. He didn’t care if he spilled Nursey’s precious drink. 

“What did I miss?” he pushed the cup into Nursey’s hands.

“I can’t believe it!” Holster shouted. 

Chowder turned to Dex, “It was the  _ clutchest _ shot!”

“You should have seen it, Dex,” Derek added.

On the screen, an announcer said, “And in the last twenty seconds of the game Jack Zimmermann sent the puck topshelf and pulled out another goal for the Falconers. Breaking the tie and winning the game! Another great night for the Falconers...” 

“Phew,” Bitty said looking back down at his Twitter feed. “That was a nail biter.”

Dex glared at Nursey, but he just smiled innocently back at him. “Could you get me a straw for this?” 

Something about the tone of Nurse’s voice made the team look in their direction. Dex’s hand slowly curled into a fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the timeless romcom classic How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days for inspiring the Coke scene.


	3. The Straw That Broke the Dex’s Back

“Poindexter, a straw please.” Even though he requested a straw, Derek still took a cool sip from the glass. 

Something inside Dex snapped.

“Nurse, can we talk.” His tone was terse and his hands were white knuckled. 

For the first time in a few days, Nursey actually looked at Dex’s face—at the worry lines that crossed his forehead, at the downward turn of his lips, at his shaking hands. 

“I don’t appreciate you taunting me like this Nurse. It’s not fair. It’s not  _ chill _ .”

Nursey shifted in his seat to look at him more clearly. 

“I don’t care that you saw my tweets, I was probably going to tell you soon anyway, but I do care that you’re threatening me with my personal information.”

“Your tweets?” Nursey’s head cocked to the side. It was almost comical.

“Yes? My tweets. The one’s you’ve been blackmailing me about,” he said it like he thought Nursey was stupid.

“...um.” Dex blanched at his linemans stutter. Nursey’s stomach sunk like a pit. “I didn’t look through your tweets dude, I saw your...manuscript.”

The team was calming down enough to start paying attention to the two defensemen.They stared blankly at the interaction wondering if they should clear the room or not. 

There was a beat of silence that rang in Dex’s head. He could feel his face heat up. “My manuscript?”

Nursey cringed. “I feel like I’m missing something.” 

“And _ I _ feel like there’s some major miscommunication going on between you two,” Chowder said like he thought  _ both  _ of them were stupid. The both of them  _ were _ stupid.

Dex ignored him, lazor focused on Nursey’s face. “That day, I had two tabs open on my computer. One was a word doc, the other was Twitter—”

“ _ You  _ thought I saw whatever was on your Twitter, but I saw the word doc.”

“Huh.”

“Well then.” The linemen started at each other blankly.

“I feel like there were some steps y’all could have taken to avoid this situation,” Bitty chirped. 

Dex turned to look at the team. They all looked faintly amused, mostly just prepared to dodge out of the room if Dex and Nursey started really arguing.

Ransom leaned forward, “So, like, stop me if I’m overstepping or whatever, but I thought I heard something about a manuscript?”

“And I feel like we need some explanation on that,” Holster finished. 

Dex turned back to Nursey. Nursey nervously took a sip of his Coke. “Uh, I have no idea if this secret is more or less important than Dex’s apparent other secret.”

Half a dozen heads swiveled to face Dex. He rolled his eyes. “I’m Jason Heartsong.”

“Who the hell is—”

“Wait,” Chowder cut him off as he hurtled over the couch to stand by Dex. “ _ You’re  _ Jason Heartsong?”

“...Yes.”

“OH my God!” 

Someone repeated the question as Chowder continued to squeal. 

“Who the hell is Jason Songbird?”

“It’s Heartsong,” Dex and Nursey said at the same time.  

Bitty’s eyes went wide as realization hit him. “Heartsong? As in cheesy-teen-New York Times Bestselling author Jason Heartsong?”

Dex steeled himself with a breath, “The one and only.”

“ _ God _ that’s a good pen name Dex.”

“If  _ anyone _ on this team was a secret author we would’ve thought it was Nursey,” Holster commented.

“Oh trust me,” said Nursey. “I’m mad he thought of it first.” 

Dex scoffed, “I only do it to pay for school."

“Do you  _ know _ how much Dustin/Suzie fic I’ve written, and the man who knows the canon has been on my team this  _ whole _ time?” Nursey groaned.

“Okay,” Dex said. “I feel like you’re missing the point.”

“Now I feel like I have to read Dex’s books,” Holster said. 

The team entered into a frenzy that was different from the post Falconers’ win buzz, but no less excited, as they began to discuss Dex’s books. Ransom was skimming through the books’ reviews online and someone had already download the first one. Lardo swiped the phone from them and began a dramatic reading of it.

_ “Susie began her first day of school the same way every year. She picked out the perfect outfit, packed a perfect lunch, and perfectly organized her book bag so that she could carry her new binders with ease. Even though St. Rose’s Academy required uniforms, Susie knew how to stand out from the crowd from her previous years attending the institution. But it seemed, on her first day of high school, that she was only successful in blending in. _

_ ‘Oh my God, excuse me I didn’t see you there!’ A boy with a ridiculously strong jaw, clear brown skin, and kinky curly hair had run into her while talking to the equally gorgeous and floppy haired students of the boy’s school next door, St. James’ Academy. Susie was dazed from being pushed on the waxed linoleum and, in possession of further knowledge that she was invisible to everyone, turned beet red from the attention those sparkling green eyes were giving her. Susie’s heart flipped. _

_ ‘What’s your name?’ he reached down to help her stand. _

_ ‘I’m Susie Claremont. _ **’**

_ ‘Sorry that pushing you down in the middle of the hallway had to be our first encounter, Susie. I’m Dustin Sweetness. I just moved here.’ Dustin flashed her a grin that made the earth stop spinning. ‘I ought to get to practice. See you around.’ _

_ Susie gaped like a fish in his wake. She had assumed that she would be invisible throughout her high school career, but then came Dustin Sweetness.” _

“No way is Dustin’s voice that high!” Derek shouted, taking the phone from her and beginning to read it out loud himself.

Dex, relieved that the situation didn’t end disastrously with the whole team knowing about his secret Twitter, allowed for them to continue to talk about the book. This was the secret Derek thought Dex was trying to hide? It at least explained why Derek had been so ridiculously playful about it. 

He felt Chowder’s hand nudge his arm, and when he looked at him, he nodded his head toward the kitchen. Dex followed him. 

When they got into the kitchen, Dex cut himself a slice of pie and leaned against the kitchen counter. He didn’t say anything. Neither did Chowder. After two bites of apple pie, he finally looked up from his plate and into Chowder’s gleeful eyes.

“I can’t  _ believe _ you’re Jason Heartsong. I should have known.”

Dex scoffed, “What do you mean?”

“Well first of all, Jason is your middle name, but second of all, Dustin  _ is  _ Derek. Right down to his ‘ _ strong jaw, clear brown skin, and sparkling green eyes.’” _

“Well that’s just—you can’t seriously—that’s a coincidence.”

Chowder rolled his eyes.

“Look Chow, it’s me, I’m not going to flat out admit that they’re the same person.”

“But you  _ are _ going to finally admit that you’re in love with Nurse?”

Dex choked on his bite of pie then buried his red, freckled face into his hands.  _ God, did Chowder love cutting straight to the point.  _

“...He doesn’t even know I’m gay.”

“You’re not out to Nurse!” 

“Oh my God keep it down. The man pretty much knows he’s Dustin Sweetness, can we keep the embarrassment to a minimum tonight.”

“Wait,” Chowder said. “Did you think—earlier you said something about your Twitter to him.”

“The other day I had my manuscript and my Twitter up on my laptop. I assumed Nurse had gone through the tweets and was blackmailing me about being gay.”

Chowder had a look of total disbelief on his face. 

“You know Derek would never do that to you, right? He cares about you more than you think.” Chowder laid a hand on Dex’s shoulder. “But also pretty much this whole team would kill him if he did something like that.” 

“You’re right. I know you’re right, but don’t you think the fact that I thought he was means we definitely should not try to start something?” 

“Well if Jack ever taught me anything, it’s that you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” The goalie trained his eyes on Bitty, still in the living room, live tweeting the team’s shenanigans. 

“You...literally quoted Gretzky you instigating bastard. This has nothing to do with Jack and Bitty.”

Chowder laughed. “Look, dude, you know I want you to do what you’re comfortable with, but I really think you should have an honest conversation with him and just see where it takes you.” 

“It’s not going to take us anywhere.”

“You know, it’s funny. Dustin is like Derek in almost every conceivable way but when it comes to making a move, he’s just like you.” 

* * *

In the end, it was Nursey who approached Dex.

He came up behind him in the locker room and tapped him on the shoulder. “Annie’s after practice?”

Dex simply nodded, a lump in his throat.

They walked to Annie’s, shoulders grazing, bundled up in coats and scarves even though it was nearing April. The tension had eased up between them since the team found out he was Jason Heartsong, but now Dex felt a strange sense of anticipation. 

Once the boys had ordered their coffee and were sitting across from each other at a table, an uncomfortable silence rang in their ears. Neither of them knew where to start.

“There’s nothing like heartfelt confessions and coffee,” Dex chuckled self deprecatingly to break the silence. 

Nursey laughed, kind of.

“So um...Chow pulled me aside last night—”

Dex groaned,  _ so much for Chris not sticking his toes in my business _ . 

“What did he say to you?”

“He just said I should talk to you. That that whole stupid prank had messed with you more than I thought.” He had his hands firmly around his coffee cup as if he was nervous.

“I—I um...” Dex struggled to get the words out before sighing and pulling out his phone and opening the Twitter app. “Here.”

“Your tweets? Are you sure—”

“Just read them Nurse, Jesus.”

**@gingerrealness:** this isnt love, simon..friends dont out friends

...

**@gingerrealness:** the worst thing about the closet is EVERYTHING 

**@gingerrealness:** especially when you can’t get out 

…

**@gingerrealness:** omg you guys @guskenworthy and his boyfriend are so cute it makes me want to vomit 

…

**@gingerrealness:** Dirty Confession # 3462: when i got to samwell i completely changed my main’s love interest.. im so cringe 

Nursey looked up from the phone and met Dex’s gaze. “You really are cringe.”   


Dex spluttered and turned red. “I gave you my  _ whole _ Twitter to look through and you chose that tweet! You’re insufferable.”

“Insufferable? That’s a big word,” Nursey chirped.

“I have to fill my novels up somehow.” They both chuckled and sipped at their drinks before Derek took a steely breath. 

“I feel like I should apologise. Even though I had no idea you were queer, you thought I was going to out you which is literally the least chill thing.” The ginger nodded as Nursey continued. “Also, I think it’s not super chill how Dustin always overlooks Susie, who strangely happens to be a redhead with freckles, for some other chick. Like let Dustin have a crush on Susie Goddamnit.” 

Dex felt his whole face go red. “It’s third person limited, Nurse. The narrator only sees things through Susie’s perception of Dustin.”

“Don’t explain point of view to me, Poindexter. I understand, but it’s still bullshit. Dustin is crazy about her, just make it explicit.” 

“That’s the thing Derek, the last book is still a work in progress.” 

“See,” Nursey said, an eager look in his eye. “I’m glad you said that. From the start I’ve wanted them to get together.”

Dex took a second before responding to Derek. 

“Can we stop talking about our relationship exclusively in book metaphors.”

“Well based on books one through three I thought you  _ liked _ metaphors.”  

Dex let out an actual laugh, “Only when it doesn’t come between me and my real life Dustin Sweetness.”

Nursey hid the darkening of his cheeks by looking into his lukewarm cup of coffee.

“You made me think I was crazy, like, I would read the books and think about you and have no idea why everything felt so similar. I thought I was projecting my unrequited love on this straight edge straight boy.”

“I didn’t even know you read them until you had a copy at the dining hall the other day, and besides I’m not sure I fully realized I was writing about you until Chowder pointed it out.” 

“Well that’s just the Derek Nurse way. They don’t realize they’re in love with me until it’s too late,” Nursey smirked.

Dex rolled his eyes. “Shut up and be my boyfriend.”

“Oh thank  _ God _ I thought you’d never ask.”

The boys smiled at each other, feelings finally unrestrained. Derek leaned forward, “So as your boyfriend can I ask you a favor?”

“What?”

“Can I  _ please  _ know what Dustin said to Susie at the homecoming dance?” 

For a second Dex looked confused, but then he smiled sweetly, taking Derek hand. “Yes, but you have to do something for me first.”

“Anything for you.” Nursey’s eyes glinted in anticipation. 

* * *

Bitty tapped through the dozen and a half snaps on the Samwell University story. “I get that you want to be the first person to read Dex’s final draft, but was it worth it Nursey?”

Derek’s eyes shone with glee, “Every leap brought me three feet closer to reading the last book in the No Tears Left To Cry series. I think my campus-wide embarrassment can be put on the back burner to my favorite books, Bitty.” 

Bitty rolled his eyes.

Derek turned to Dex, wriggling his eyebrows, “So what do I have to do to get you to let me help write the epilogue?” 

Dex grinned mischievously before tapping at the freckled skin of his cheek. Nursey bent over and kissed it. It was a simple peck, but nonetheless their first kiss.

The whole team groaned. “Are they gonna dethrone Chowder and Farmer as the PDA couple?”

“Dex, I won’t fine you if I get to help with the epilogue, too,” Chowder said.

“Shut up man,” Dex shoved him playfully. “You don’t even like my books.”

* * *

_ “Epilogue: Ten Years Later _

_ ‘I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Dustin and Susie Sweetness. You may now kiss the bride.’”  _

“Is that it?” Chowder scrunched his face up in confusion.

“Yeah!” Dex grinned. 

“Do they live happily ever after?” Nursey asked quietly. 

He turned to him, smiling. “Yeah, they do.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. No tears were shed in the making of this fic  
> 2\. Originally, the objective of the fic was to make Nursey look like a bad guy because we thought about how wild it is that only Dex can be an ass  
> 3\. Thank y'all for reading and enjoying the fic that was a result of us getting together and making pancakes. It's been a fun ride! You can find us on tumblr @/smalltownwriter and @/bitsofzimbits.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Nursey isn't blackmailing Dex because he thinks he's gay, Nursey just really loves to read.


End file.
